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The Light leaving the Eye - for Queen halfdutch [Jul. 16th, 2008|03:29 pm]
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lostsquee

[falafel_fiction]
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[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Summary: Locke's thoughts as he leads Boone through the jungle to the beech craft. 
Characters: Locke, Boone, mentions of various 815ers.
Disclaimer: Seriously. I don't own this show.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 996
Author's Note: For Queen Halfdutch who requested Boone and for Janie Tangerine who I know will appreciate Boone. Excuse the typos in my link! This Luau is pretty tiring. 
 



The Light leaving the Eye


Locke stands on the beach, watching the horizon. He's giddy as a child waiting for Christmas morning to arrive with its gifts and its miracles. The island has shown him the way. This is the day he'll find the answer, the day he'll open the hatch. 

Boone is sleeping in the sand. The kid is all worn out. Locke has been working him hard and this task will be harder still. The digging, the excavating, the trebuchet - that was merely the foundation work. The real pilgrimage lies before them. He's sure Boone will sulk and complain, but he'll come along. He has to come. He's part of the vision. Locke doesn't know who Theresa is yet. He doesn't know how to find the plane. He doesn't know how to interpret the blood. But he knows he is being tested and Boone is part of the equation. He'll need him to find the answer.      

Locke sees a sliver of sunlight glinting above the sea line. He can't wait any longer. He stoops over Boone. He prods his shoulder, he hushes him when he startles and then he gets him on his feet. Boone yawns and mutters, but he follows him without a fuss. Locke claps him on the shoulder, smiling encouragingly, while the kid just stretches and rubs his eyes, still trying to wake up to the world. 

Boone has been a good servant to him. He's kept his promise not to tell. He's hidden the rope burns on his wrists and the lump on his head from Jack's critical eyes. Jack wouldn't understand the methods Locke has used to teach and strengthen Boone. Just as he wouldn't approve of how he taught Walt to throw a knife or how he tempted Charlie to ask for his drugs. If Jack had his way, he would wrap these kids up in cotton wool, like moths in cocoons, never letting them spread their wings, never letting them learn to fly for fear that they might fall... 

Locke knows he will let Boone fall this day. He'll put his trust in the island to catch him. He'll let Boone take the bumps of their leap of faith and then he'll watch as Boone stands up again, stronger than he was before. And Locke will be standing there beside him, the strength and the feeling restored to his legs. 

Then he will tell Boone that he is proud of him.   

After Locke's knees fold beneath him, Boone becomes a crutch for him to lean on. Boone is supposed to be here, Locke reasons, this is supposed to happen. When they find the beech craft, Locke sees the broken fragments of his vision sliding together. Boone is willing to climb up to the plane when Locke asks him. Locke would commend the boy for his show of faith, but the truth is he never told Boone about the blood. He didn't want to scare him. He didn't want to meddle with the vision. Locke knows what he must do now. He must place Boone on the altar. He must raise up his knife and pray that the island will stay his hand.      

The virgin mary statues and the heroin don't make any sense to him. Locke thinks of the little bag of heroin that Charlie burned on fire. The island may give you what you are looking for...but you have to give something to the island first. What the island gives it can also take away. Locke thinks he would give anything - anything that was demanded - to learn the island's secrets.
 
With that thought...the plane begins to rattle, its nose pitching towards the ground. 

Locke can hear Boone's voice inside, airy and excited. He's found a radio in the cockpit. He's contacting someone. He's trying to get them rescued. After everything Locke has taught him about the island, Boone still wants to get them rescued. The kid never learned a thing. But Locke is worried now and he's yelling for Boone to get out. Because Boone is either going to bring rescue now or he is going to get himself killed. Locke doesn't want either of those things to happen. 

His cries go unanswered. The plane falls from the cliff. The plane crashes to the ground. And there's Boone. And there's the blood.

Now that the vision has come to pass, Locke begins to feel his legs again. But he can't feel Boone's body over his shoulders. He can't feel the blood seeping into his T-shirt. He won't let himself think of what has been sacrificed. He will take Boone back to Jack. He'll let Jack wrap him up in cotton wool and he'll admit that he pushed the kid too far. But first he needs his answer. He doesn't have time to explain to Jack or the others who gasp at the sight of his bleeding burden. He has to get to the hatch. 

Locke runs all the way. He doesn't know what he expects to find...but he is shocked to see that nothing has changed. There's nothing but the cold metal door shutting him out. Locke falls to his knees. He whimpers and moans. He bangs his fist against that cursed door. He smells the blood on his hands. He pleeds for the island to give him a sign. 

The light blasts into his face. A pure white light that shines for a moment and then blinks out. Its fleeting beauty is enough to quell Locke's blasphemy. It feels like the eye of the island is winking at him. The answers will come. He must be patient. He must be faithful. He must obey.
 
Locke returns to the camp seeking only one answer more. As he steps onto the beach he finds this answer in a silent huddle of figures and a long dark hole in the ground. Jack has wrapped Boone's body in a sheet of tarpaulin as if he wants to protect the kid's eyes from the sand. Boone won't ever stand up again. Locke won't ever tell him he's proud. It's too late to even say that he's sorry. 

It's my fault, Locke realises. He's covered in Boone's blood. His sacrifice or his mistake. It doesn't matter now. 

He takes a step closer to the mourners. All that's left is to clean up the mess.  


xxx
The End         
      
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: janie_tangerine
2008-07-16 06:21 pm (UTC)
Oh God, I actually teared up at the ending. *sniff* *composes herself* And by the way you set it during my favorite episode ever, so even better ;)

I really like your take on Locke here. That's exactly the way I see the whole matter, by the way. What has always bugged me with Locke's behavior in the whole thing was that he lied regarding the nature of the accident, not the actual accident (since it was obvious he didn't actually want him to die), but anyway, back on the fic.

I loved how you made it all about the island and the answers because Locke is/was actually all about both island and answers and the way you depicted him in the beginning works so well with canon.

If Jack had his way, he would wrap these kids up in cotton wool, like moths in cocoons, never letting them spread their wings, never letting them fly for fear they might fall...

That's an extremely Locke-ish observation. I could see him doing such a reasoning, even if well, I do actually prefer Jack's methods to his. Hey, last that I checked Jack has done a lot of idiocies but never got anyone dead directly ;) I really liked the fact that you had Locke put faith in the island not to kill Boone even with the blood and whatnot, it's the only way I can see him bringing the poor guy to that sacrifice voluntarily. The religious imagery you used at the altar point was great, by the way.

Locke thinks he would give anything - anything that was demanded - to learn the island's secrets.

Ouch. That's when I started tearing up. The subsequent bit is just so Locke, from him being angry because Boone still wants them rescued to the fact that he just hurries to the hatch soon after. The eye of the island winking at him thing was an image so creepy but just so effective.

Jack has wrapped Boone's body in a sheet of tarpaulin as if he wants to protect the kid's eyes from the sand.

Argh, hear my poor heart smashing. *sigh* The last line was just perfect. Especially because of where it comes from ;) ;) God, I loved this. Thanks for such a good read. Now I want to send him to Island Hell all over again though!
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-16 06:59 pm (UTC)
I'm pleased to make you happy/teary, Janie. I'm a little embarassed that you read this while I was still tweeking it so sorry for any typos! I'm not a big fan of 'De ux Machina' myself, only because I'm sour on the island's demands and the fatalism of the show. But Boone was very heroic, putting his life on the line to try and bring rescue for everyone else. As a Charlie fan it's very easy to sympathise and relate to that.

Yeah, I think Locke let his yearing for answers overtake his rational thought. He never stopped to think that he could get Boone hurt or if he did think then he decided it was a risk he was willing to take. I also resent Locke for lying to Jack, but not only that - I feel that Boone's death should have caused Locke to seriously question his faith in the island. Does he really want to worship a deity that demands human sacrifice? I wouldn't.

Well, I wouldn't support Jack OR Locke after S4. Jack was more considerate towards Boone but his behaviour bothered me too. When Jack plans to cut Boone's leg off I start scowling at him. At that point it seems like Jack knows Boone is not gonna pull through, but he would rather put Boone through more pain than admit to his failure. That's how I saw it anyway.

Anyway. I'm glad this pleased you. You have been a great contributer to this Luau. Really, you are one of the most generous members of this fandom. You deserve as much Boone fic as your angsty heart desires.
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[User Picture]From: janie_tangerine
2008-07-16 07:22 pm (UTC)
Well, if there were typos I didn't notice them ;)

You said pretty much the reason for which that one is my favorite episode. Apart from the fact that the flashback was pretty much the only reason I didn't lash out at Locke and I still think it's one of his better written ones, for how much I loved Hearts and Minds I think that DEM was the height of Boone concerning character development. I just think it's the episode you need to see to get exactly how much potential he had and the other backstory was Sawyer getting the glasses which is always fun. I just ignore the ending ;)

I feel that Boone's death should have caused Locke to seriously question his faith in the island.

That exactly. Well, it took him one season and one hatch to question it at the end of S2 and that was actually when I was reaaally liking his attitude. Then he got his faith back. Pity.

After S4 I'd probably trust ghost!Charlie over everyone. Regarding the leg, I can see how you would see it like that, but I always took it as him being extremely hard on himself and obsessed with the fixing. I mean, as soon as he said that he was going to fix him at the beginning I think he really meant it and that more than not being willing to admit a failure it was more of a question of him wanting to save him at any cost. Or at least that's my take after watching that episode too many times for my sanity but I had lost it when he did the transfusion. Anything I say of what happened after isn't objective ;)

And I'm totally blushing now. My angsty heart will take as much as it needs ;) ♥
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-16 07:41 pm (UTC)
After S4 I'd probably trust ghost!Charlie over everyone.

Cool. I'd say the same, but I get worried that ghost!Charlie isn't the real Charlie and is just a manifest of the stupid evil island. But he's stick up for what is right it seems. Jack and Locke have just lost it. Sayid is more sympathetic but he's working for Ben now. I'll never be a Sawyer fan. The writers messed up Desmond for me. Hurley's okay but he's too passive. I guess my big problem with Lost these days is the writers haven't left me with anyone to root for. Except maybe Rose and Bernard.
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[User Picture]From: janie_tangerine
2008-07-16 07:56 pm (UTC)
LOL well I'd surely trust Bernard and Rose over everyone on that show! They seem like the people with most sense anyway. And yeah, while ghost!Charlie might not be the real one at least he talks sense, which I won't surely have a problem with.
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-17 09:04 am (UTC)
Wow! Thanks. I don't write John or Boone very often, but I do feel strongly about this storyline, maybe because it mirrors the Desmond/Charlie story so strongly. Apparently the Lost writers like the Abraham/Isaac tale (apart from the ending where Isaac is saved). Poor Boone. I was also interested in the Jack/Locke conflict at this point.
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[User Picture]From: halfdutch
2008-07-16 10:55 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, that was really powerful.

I don't tend to be a Locke fan, starting from the point where he sacrificed Boone, but I really like your take on his thought process, that he was sure (or mostly sure) that the island wouldn't literally take Boone's life. After all, it had given him back his legs. And you've perfectly summed up the difference between Locke and Jack: Locke is a tough love proponent if I've ever seen one! You've really captured the mix of blind faith and reckless disregard for others that scares me in Locke, while still keeping that sense that he's sure what he's doing is right and for the greater good. He does have that momentary twinge of regret but I think this line is so telling: His sacrifice or his mistake. It doesn't matter now.

Thank you so much for writing a fic for me. This made me sad to lose Boone all over again.
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-17 09:09 am (UTC)
Yeah, I was a big Locke fan in early S1 but after the Boone sacrifice and learning that Locke was the one who attacked Sayid I started going cold on the guy. But I did used to really like his "tough love" relationships with some of the younger castaways. He used to be a great mentor. Locke's reckless blind faith has overruled his relationships now. It scares me too that he is still so convinced he is right. Poor Boone.
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[User Picture]From: dustyirish2003
2008-07-16 11:49 pm (UTC)
I cannot begin to tell you how amazing this fic was. Wow. This is one of those you have to read again and again, and even after several readings there are still hidden surprises to be unearthed. It really is just that good.

More than anything, I think it is simply the feel you have managed here ... there is a quiet eeriness to this that I can't even describe properly. But it works just beautifully, if hauntingly. And this simple line : Boone has been a good servant to him. might possibly be the spookiest line of Lost fic I have ever read. It literally sent shivers down my spine.

You have Locke's reasoning for everything down frighteningly perfectly - I can sympathize with him here, even if most of me doesn't want to. Poor, poor Boone. Your descriptions are just amazing; I could totally see every bit of this happening, felt like I was in John's mind. Which is a place I'm not at all sure I want to be, lol, but it speaks volumes to your abilities as a writer.

To sum it up, this was sheer brilliance. Thank you ever so much for sharing it.

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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-17 09:16 am (UTC)
Wow. I am very flattered by this review. It is always very satisfying if readers think a story is worthy of a re-read, especially to pick up on little details. That's great to hear.

Ooh...I'm glad you liked the 'servant' line, because I originally used the word 'friend' and then realised it didn't have the right feel. Hmn. Maybe it is also creepy that Locke is already shifting his relationship with Boone into the past tense (?!).

Hmmm. I wouldn't want to be in Locke's head for very long either! Scary place. That's why I kept this fic short. Thanks so much for a wonderful comment! Much appreciated.
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[User Picture]From: haldoor
2008-07-17 04:00 am (UTC)
Oooh, deep and dark and very much what I imagine Locke to be thinking! Excellent! ;-) Poor Boone though *sigh*, to be Locke's sacrifice.
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-17 09:17 am (UTC)
Thank you! Locke's head is a very dark place. Poor Boone indeed.
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[User Picture]From: elliotsmelliot
2008-07-19 02:40 am (UTC)
Oh creepy. I loved the line about Locke letting the kids take their falls and Jack wrapping them up in cotton. It reminded me of Locke's tough love from his father, if you could call it love at all, and his own fall from the window. In that setting he was the poor trusting servant. He should have known better. It made me wonder if the island has led Locke astray from the beginning, promising his legs, just like his dad promised him family. We all know how that ended!

RIP Boone.
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[User Picture]From: falafel_musings
2008-07-19 10:11 am (UTC)
It reminded me of Locke's tough love from his father, if you could call it love at all, and his own fall from the window. In that setting he was the poor trusting servant. He should have known better.

Wow. Great parallel. I sooo didn't think of it myself. Hmn, maybe my fic doesn't work so well now. He should have known better indeed. But from the reckless way that Locke acts these days he's not really got much moral high ground on his father anymore.

Thanks for reading! Did you finish your thesis or are you just taking a breather?
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[User Picture]From: elliotsmelliot
2008-07-19 01:01 pm (UTC)
Even if you didn't plan the parallel, I think the story still works. It shows a pattern of how Locke can be led astray if he believes in something.

I finished my thesis revisions yesterday. I'm letting it sit over the weekend before the final proofread on Monday and Tuesday. I'm spending the weekend finishing up revisions on an article, but it's not as time consuming, so I dedicated Friday night to writing and reading fic. I should have something from Queen Falafel posted soon.
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[User Picture]From: astra2104
2008-07-20 07:50 pm (UTC)
Oh that was intense. I always thought that episode was one of the best in the whole series, the way both Locke and Boone and Jack are played against each other, and your fic captures the tone of that ep exactly right.
i don't know whether I should condemn Locke or pity him or even envy him for his beliefs; it was certainly a fascinating read, even if I knew the inevitable end.

And those last two lines are fantastic. Wow *admires*
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[User Picture]From: falafel_musings
2008-07-20 10:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I thought I portrayed Locke in an unsympathetic was here, so it's cool that the response is more mixed emotions to his blind faith.
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[User Picture]From: siluria
2008-07-22 08:20 pm (UTC)
Great fic! I can't remember reading anything before that came from Locke's point of view, especially from this episode, but you really did hit the mark.
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-23 05:56 pm (UTC)
Thats cos Locke's point of view is a scary weird place to be! Thanks for reading.
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[User Picture]From: alemyrddin
2008-07-23 11:27 am (UTC)
this is a great character study, even if Locke definitely isn't my favourite character.
But I think that were really his thoughts.
Great job!
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[User Picture]From: falafel_fiction
2008-07-23 05:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks alem! Locke actually was one of my favs - until this episode! Thanks for reading.
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[User Picture]From: zelda_zee
2008-07-24 02:45 am (UTC)
I've hardly ever read Locke POV fic, or at least not for a long while. This was interesting and intense and seemed very IC to me. I liked Locke having faith that the island wouldn't actually take Boone's life. At that point, I'm sure the island seemed more benign than it is. I also liked the way he contrasts himself with Jack. A very well-written fic!
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[User Picture]From: falafel_musings
2008-08-07 05:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks zelda! Sorry, I didn't reply sooner. I think I miss the notification on this comment.

Well, Locke still claims it's "the island of miracles". I just don't get how these days.
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[User Picture]From: toestastegood
2008-09-18 12:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, Locke. This was utterly heartbreaking - thank you for linking me to it. I've been rewatching S1 lately with my flatmate, Eva. Because she's taken Locke to heart, I'm beginning to warm to him too (it's hard to continue being grouchy at a character when there's someone squeeing about him right beside you!) That episode, though, those scenes... The image of Locke hammering on the hatch and crying in such desperation has always stuck with me.

This line in particular stuck out at me:
He'll let Boone take the bumps of their leap of faith and then he'll watch as Boone stands up again, stronger than he was before.
Another 'oh, Locke' moment for me. The faith he had in the island was extraordinary. It was a little like listening to a born-again Christian. Like you and janie_tangerine were saying in your discussion, I was surprised that Boone's death didn't make his faith in the island waver more than it actually did. If anything, it seemed to strengthen it - because I think he wanted to believe, after 'sacrificing' Boone, that there was a reason for it. If there was no reason at all, then Boone died for nothing.

The way you wrote Locke's thoughts on the differences between him and Jack was always really interesting - tough love vs. overprotective parenting. Shame we couldn't have got a nice middle ground for the characters! I liked how you brought Locke's other S1 disciples up as well, Charlie and Walt. I actually really liked the role that Locke took with the two of them in the first series. For Charlie especially, I think he was such a good influence in his life - and that Jack definitely wouldn't have managed to get him off the drugs like that.

Thank you again for reccing this to me! I think, despite what you say about this being an unsympathetic portrayal, he actually comes across pretty well here!
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[User Picture]From: falafel_musings
2008-09-19 12:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow. I almost missed this feedback. Thanks!

Locke used to be in my top 5 favs back in S1. Since he became Ben's best buddy and no.1 dupe I've gone off Locke completely but I loved him in the early days even though I felt very conflicted and infuriated with him over Boone's death.

I was surprised that Boone's death didn't make his faith in the island waver more than it actually did. If anything, it seemed to strengthen it - because I think he wanted to believe, after 'sacrificing' Boone, that there was a reason for it. If there was no reason at all, then Boone died for nothing.

But they never gave any reason for Boone's sacrifice. Locke just keeps repeating this thing of "Boone was a sacrifice the island demanded" as if that is a sufficient reason for a young man to die a long painful death. This is why I can't relate to Lockes faith in the island, because it seems like a blind faith based on self-interest (that the island made him walk again, that the island makes Locke special, etc).

That said Locke did seem more generous in the early days and his early relationship with Charlie was wonderful. The tough love worked in that instance. He was a good influence on Michael/Walt back then too.
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